Monday, October 25, 2010

Trick 'n' or da Treat'n

Still broke, but I found'n me some new diggs... kin still travel alls i want to, mon.  Can't let bein' broke break me spirit, ya know.  Trick or Treatin' be a nice way to take me mind offa t'ings, and put a little cash back in me pockets. 

And, let me buy some new pockets for dat matter...

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Still be broke...

I still be da broken Troll wit' no pants, mon, but I be gettin' by.  Some of me mates sent me a pile o' leat'er to make me some britches and I got to sewin'.  Dat make me t'ink aboot dis Borean Leat'er dats comin' from da mammoths an worms up in Nort'rend... Hows come I can be sewin' t'ese t'ings without no t'read?  What kinda juju lets t'ese slabs o' skin stick toget'er, ya know?  An' t'ey t'ink I be smokin' too much o' da Ganja...

Even wit' no pants, a brudda can still get aroun'.  Macfeegle, one o' me brudda trolls, showed me da way to da Caverns o' Time to see da way t'ings used ta be, mon.  We walked down t'rough da Old Kingdom and Hillsbarad, and even stumbled on ol' T'rall when he was a t'umpin' Orc man instead o' da big boss.  He done got hisself locked up, so we busted him outa t'is place t'en when out to t'is bar wit' da SERIOUS brews a goin'... WOOO, I not been trashed like t'at in for never!  T'at T'rall sure know how to t'row 'em back, mon!  I woke up out in da cave da next mornin', and I couldn't find me pants!  T'en I realized, I din't wear none when I went down t'ere in da firs' place...

Friday, October 15, 2010

'Tis a sad day, mon

I no be postin' lately, cuz i no bein' able to travel since some no good, bad juju mut'a fuka robbed me o' my clothes and loot.  I don' even have me pants, mon!  How can a troll be 'spected to travel around da Nort'rend wit' no britches?  Feh, it breaks de heart, ya know... And to make da matters worse, Brewfest be over too, so I can' even drown out me sorrows in some o' dat Orc brew!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

What dey be t'inkin'?

Dis mama be jacked up on da ganja when she named her baby boy, mon...

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Here dere be Demons, mon

I took one o' me brudda's to Hellfire Citadel, o'er in da Outlands, mon.  Talk about your bad juju's!  There be a many and many rocks I've not over turned, dis bein' a tour guide be da way to go.  It can stress a brudda out, mon.  'Least I can samples da Voodoo tonics o' me brudda trolls... be keepin' a trolls sanity t'rough all a dis.  Took a goat ride to calm me nerves...

Friday, September 24, 2010

The Undead

Bal'a dash, malanore

After having taken control of the section of Auchindoun known at the Mana Tombs, I have unfortunately been waylaid in my attempts at domination of this realm.  Several attempts at taking over the old citadel have met with defeat.  I've found it to be terribly frustrating at the pool of individuals available to me for assistance with these ventures... Bah, it still galls me to be forced to rely on such incompetent assistance in the first place!

Today, however, provided a much needed alteration to my existing fortunes.  I included myself within a foray into a portion of Auchindoun that I took to be a crypt.  Legions of undead Draenei warriors, priests, monks and specimens in far less physical repair as to be unidentifiable met us upon entering.

Let it be known that I have never been friendly with the undead.  These are creatures that even I find to be despicable to the senses and an abomination to the natural order of things.  Demons HAVE a place in the order of things, albeit not in this dimension; but beings with the spark of life and consciousness removed, and later... 'reinserted' I guess is as good a term as any other... is just wrong to me.  I understand that I am forced to consider the Forsaken as allies, as some sort of special case; however, I state now and forever, that they will never be acceptable to me on any level.  They are totally beyond my ability to affect with most of my magics, and must be erradicated, period.

Once my 'companions' and I powered our way through the initial atrium, the rest of the zone was much more sparsely populated.  We travelled through the catacombs to an elaborate bridge over a depth uncountable, to a massive stairwell where we encountered an incredible beast my research had named "Shirrak the Dead Watcher."  Being of immeasurable intelligence, he apparently targeted the most deadly foe, me, immediately as I found myself mired in a psychic force that slowed my movements and casting ability.  Seeing an opportunity, I focused all of my will against the creature, showing him my that I was not one to be trifled with... allowing my thralls to ambush it from all sides and bring him down in swift order.  Note to self: minions have their uses.

After mopping up the Watcher, it was a short distance to a vast crypt where my nemesis awaited... but not before we were confronted with a veritable swarm of skeletal warriors and undead necromancers (feel the irony?) blocking our path to the lord of the tomb: Exarch Maladaar, a former Draenite Lord doomed to an eternal existence as an animate corpse.

"DESTROY THE INVADERS!"  his sepuclhural voice echoed throughout the massive tomb, and I knew we had our work laid out in front of us.  As my fear spells and shadow magic were of little effect againsts the masses of skeletal warriors, I fell back to my old standby... Fire.  Picking my targets, I burned down dark spellcaster after dark spellcaster, while my dominated minions protected my flanks from the undead.  We practically burrowed our way through the corpses until we stood before the master himself.  Demoralized, his army in ruins at his feet, Maladaar drew his burning staff and charged into us, spells and strength flailing for all he was worth.

All to no avail.  Maladaar fell to me just like the rest.  Was there any other possible outcome?

Sinu a'manore

P.S.  Approximately half-way through my conquest of the ancient ruin, I continue to hear rumors from home concerning a hidden northern continent.  Must investigate this at my earliest opportunity.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Da big bad Trolls

Ever notice how many o' da bad jujus be trolls, mon?  I don' mean da mixed groups o' jujus dat be a part o' Blackrock mines gang.  I mean whole clans o' brudda trolls done got mixed up wit' da bad mojo.  Even de home base in Durotar has got de bad troll bruddah's mixed up wit' dat Zalazane out on da island, ya know.  (I'm t'inking to go out t'ere and bong some sense into his t'ick head, mon.)

When I'm out not battlin da beasties, more often den not, mon,  I find meself firin' off on fellow troll brudda's, what should be mates, ya know.  Stranglethorn be et up with da Bloodscalp tribe an' some ot'ers roamin' around causin' mischiefs.  Den you got Zul'Farak, da old Troll city loaded wit' dem.  Sunken Temple be loaded too wit' da bad jujus, Zul'Drak on da ice continent, Zul'Aman, Zul'Gurub... I t'ought dat we was on da same team, mon!

Meybe we needs ta ret'ink dis alliance t'ing, ya know...

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Great and Powerful

Bal'a dash, malanore.

I, Nikodhemus, have been placed upon the soil of Azeroth for a purpose.  I care not for the struggles of men and orcs in the Great War.  My purpose, as should be the purpose of all beings, is one of conquest and domination.  My people have allied themselves with the piddling orc lead Horde, and it is from this pool that I am forced to choose my traveling companions.  It is with great fortitude that I allow such filth to accompany me as a necessity to my ascension to Godhood.  The power of a warlock is unmatched in the realms, and the demons at my command will rise me to greater and greater power.

Since starting my journey, I have already shown mastery upon the peoples of Azeroth, and have set my sights upon the spinning chaos that is called the Outland.  It is a strange place, rife with demonic hordes and possessed beings, however it has been my great pleasure to demonstrate my mastery upon the demons that call this rock home.  

This morning, I subjugated a rough band of <ahem> "adventurers", to assist me in investigating one section of the Auchindoun ruins known as the Mana Tombs.  Auchindoun appears to have once been a seat of power amongst the outlands, and is rumored to hold many treasures and terrible dangers, and the Mana Tombs was the power center.  Unfortunately, this exercised proved that I need to take exceptional care when choosing my team.

Piztai, my dominated Imp was my companion for this sojourn, as he is easy to control and provides adequate assistance as required.  This wing of Auchindoun had been overrun with these bird creatures who were playing at demonic control.  I was there to prove who the true master was; however I soon saw the true master of the collective.  A minor Demon Lord by the name of Nexus Prince Shaffar had taken over the bounty of the Mana Tombs and was reaping the benefits by controlling the bird-creatures.

My group and I were scattered no less than three times during our quest, which I blame myself for selecting the dunces I did as companions.  Perhaps had I summoned a more dominant Demon I may have held a tighter fist upon them?  Either way, after a long, bloody battle of magic and sword we brought Prince Shaffar down, and claimed the Mana Tombs for myself.  My journey continues...

P.S.  I've heard tell of a place called The Nexus somewhere on Azeroth.  Must check into that upon returning.

Sinu a'manore

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Da bigga dey are...

Went a walkin' through da Dragonblight, found one a t'ose goblins havin' a tiff wit' a big Ice Giant.  Dey was lookin' like a pissed off married couple, mon!  I had ta stop by to see what it was about, ya know... Dey was having a meetin', but bot' wanted t'ese big worms killed, so I took up da job. 

It was no worries footin' it into da ice caves, an' killin' t'ese big t'ings, mon.  Dey wanted me to kill t'em for dey own reasons, I din't bot'er to question it, ya know?  T'en t'ey wantin' me to kill da Momma, and dat was a task even fo' da likes o' me, mon.  I jumped an' ran an' used every t'ing in da book... after me ape got clobbered, I had to turn 'possum an' act like I done give up. I try again after a few an' he nearly bonks me out again, mon.  But, dis time I send her to da dirt pile, only to have her chillen's come an' knock me right out, ya know...

I get back up to go back n skin da beastie, I notice a bottle in me bags sayin 'tis an elixer to make me tough agains' da worms poison.  I learned me lesson today,  mon.  First, always kill da chillens before tacklin' da momma, and second to always read da labels on me drinks...

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Da Beginning, Mon

Hey there, mon!  I be Gulgagrimnah o' the Dark Spear Trolls, and I be writtin' me thoughts about me travels with da Horde on Azerot'.

Bein' a Huntah be de life, let me tell ya mon.  Everyt'ing I need be right at me feets... I be tamin' da beasts, skinnin' em for clothes, bashin' em for da meats.  I be at me eightyith summer, and I got da seasonin' for da best o' da best.  I've placed me feets over many a land on Azerot' and even beyond.

Today I lead a young brotha though the Whispering Caverns over in da Barrens, mon.  It be a nice place to find da ganja, but I be gatherin' the skins o' the raptors on me way through.  I took me ape Konda wit' me, he be needin' to stretch his legs and he likes travelin' to da old world.  Not'in' in dat place be too much trouble for me ta get me grip on, an' I didn't hear a single whisper.  I tink someone messin' with me, mon...

Tho' I be a many travelled Troll, I know there be many a dirt stretch I haven't wiggled me toes in, ya know.  I tink me aim is to see dem all, mon.