On Break

I been away for da long time, I know, mon... But, I couldn't helped it, I done got ship wrecked out in da ocean!  Some big damn squid t'ing done hacked up me cruisin' ship, took me n me mates down to da bottom o' da big blue... and ta top it off, mon, me damned camera done broke, so's I don' even have da pics to show you!  But, as I be da travellin' troll, I do me best to tell you's all about it, mon...

So, first I was all like "Hey, Mon!  What dis 'ere big boat doin'?"

Den I was all like "I'm gonna go get me somma dem Alliance bruddah's ears for me new necklace!  Let's get dis big damn boat in da water, ya know?"

Den I was all like "Look at dat big damn squid, bruddas!  Me an' Konda gonna go and catch dat sucka!'

Den I was all like "Aaaaaaahh!'  Splash!  Glubberblugger bleecchh  gulpperglupp sspppffffffffffftttt pleh

Den I was all like "We's alive!  In da bottom o' da boat!"  Den ol' Konda fold his arms across his ches', and plant his feets and shooked his big, monkey melon, so I knew I had to gets me a new companion to helps me collect me bruddah orcs and goblins.  (Ya know, I didn't t'ink it strange until jus' now, but I don' t'ink I seen but meybe two or t'ree Troll brudda's da whole time I been down dere.   I talkin' to a Tauren lady, and even da Taunka from Nort'rend, but no Trolls and no Forsakens... meybe dey too smart to be traipsin' around in a boat.)  So, I picked up T'urman, my new sand crab friend!  He got da big spikes and big claws and he can take a hit like no bruddah's mutta can... and we wen' and collected wet orcs, ya know.

A'ter a bit, dis Eart'en Ring Voodoo mama done juice me up fulla da airs, so's I can breat'e under da sea, and dat make me travels much easier, mon.  Dis place be HUGE, let me tell ya brudda!  I went up one side and down t'ot'er, tryin' ta scoop up me mates... Even wen' inta dis BIG DING DAMNED BUG, what had a village o' damned snake men livin' up inside o' his head.  Me an' da orcs done cleaned their clocks, tho, mon, and make a' da bug our bosom buddies!  (If I coulda jus' had a few minute's by meself wit' da t'ing, I mighta been a makin' him me pet!  Dat t'ing coulda broke down dat big damned squiddy, no foolin' mon...)

We bugged outa t'ere (HA!  Konda tol' me to say dat!) an' wen' on to da capital city o' da snakes... T'ere be SO many o' t'ose ding damned t'ings down dere, we's be lucky dey can't fly, ya know.  An' dey got da wicked Ganja, mon... Voodoo Mama gimme dis bit o' metal, look like a pipe.  She say it got da big mojo in it, from da snake men.  I take dat stick, mon, and I tell you I be trippin' for HOURS, ya know!  I be t'inking I be one o' dem snake men, all slitherin' 'round, stabbin' some ot'er guys, slappin' 'em silly... 'cept I was a GIRL too, mon!  Ah, mercy, I had me a time doin' dat, brudda...

When I come down offa da trippin' was aboot da time da boats finally come to pick us all back up.  And, ya know, mon, dat ol' ship captain had the nerve ta ask me to take dis goblin water tank t'ing and go right back down!  I said "NO sir, joo crazy mon?"  What dese damned new leader be t'inkin, sendin' us out in dat mess anyway? 

It good to be back, tho mon... I t'ink I be spendin' a bit o' time in Orgrimmar, checkin' out dese new leathers I been collectin'.  Soon as me camera be back up, I be sharin' da picks again...